tech support

traffic police

Yesterday I was stopped by the Latvian traffic police… I was exceeding speed limit and he told that he will write protocol. I gave him my drivers license and technical passport already together with 5 Lats (10 Usd) because I wanted proceed faster with this .

Banking sector

Some notes from previous experience in banking sector. Many of these suggestions can be applied to any big company or government ministry, managed by morons in suites.

In eyes of managers You are good guy if :

1. You don’t do almost nothing (tried this strategy for 7 months – it works!).

(This is due to fact that most of managers do not have previous experience in computer programming. They are too stupid to understand what you are doing. So the only thing what they can measure is: number of errors, number of projects and your traffic to toilet. So you should concentrate on not producing any error and to increase project time. The real normal time should be multiplied by 3 or 5 otherwise you will have ass fuck very hard!)

2. You arrive at 8:00 and leave at 17:00

3. You have weekly appointment in sex shop to take new delivery of lubricants!

(Prepare to obey and serve. The best suggestion is try to relax and enjoy. You should be some kind of sadomazochist because everybody will fuck you. You are the one who is responsible for all the problems. No opinions!)

That’s it! Nothing more! You are perfect bank employee.

Howto, freelancers..

In quite stressful project we have many freelancers who are employed by customer for several years. Now client looks for some outsourcing companies and create mixed projects (half of people are freelancers, half of people are employees of some outsourcing company).

Here is one e-mail discussion. No names, my comments in bold…

HR, communication thru the e-mails

These are real e-mail messages sent between IT resources and HR management persons in one of the biggest IT companies in Riga…

starving resource

Hello XXXX,

Have you made those cost expense payments that I sent you last week Monday from Sweden? I am completely dry on money and if I do not get it during the next few days I will start starving in Sweden. I will be Latverian Wunderarbeiter in Sweden, collecting food from garbage.

Best regards,
YYYYY YYYYY

IT meeting in Sweden

As usual IT meetings are organized once every week to gather status reports. I worked in big project with Latvians, Estonians and Indus for a large Swedish company. Latvians and Estonians are cheap near shore resources so they had to fly every Monday morning with big bags of food (cheap cottleta and local beer) to survive and be productive, but Indians were working offshore…

Computer programming school

This is the mainstream way where goes most of the big IT consulting companies. I’ m sorry to say but this is true:

Employees training to serve customers

more about “popcopy – Google Video“, posted with vodpod

how to properly manage and motivate resources

Most of big companies – hr and management dudes have a theory that people should be motivated insted of paying a proper salary.

Hansabank – Swedbank!

Today it is announced that Hansabank has changed it’ s name to Swedbank, according to change of owners in Sweden. Video from delfi.ee

I was asking my friend from Estonia to comment this topic and this is what I have got:..

Soon they will change the name of the country also it will be: Baltic States, The toilet and asswipe of Royal Sweden Socialist Pensioners!
We will send all our old garbage here and faulty 35 year-old Volvos.
Eesti has been sold for pennies to all sorts of foreigners and the government is representing the foreigners’ interest, not the local people!
I guess pretty much the same in Mother Latvija.

We need to start training again!
Swedish for dumb Eastern Europeans with Ph.D. and toilet cleaner job!

The picture below shows typical Swedbank/Hansabank employee in Riga. Nice looking dude, sexy, dumb, loyal.

This picture was taken from http://www.draugiem.lv/friend/?3054680 “Loyal and sexy”

She is almost so beautiful like Jim Carrey in his famous story “The Buffed, beautiful and bitchin”: